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Tuesday 6 January 2015

Happy New Year 2015

We're back, I'm back. I took an extended Christmas break, and it turned out we all really needed that. Everything still takes a lot longer and your mind wanders, it was enough to just try and 'do' Christmas and New Year and all the rest of it, there's no way I'd have fitted in much writing.

It's 12th night, and for the first time ever, I have to admit to being kind of glad it's all over. Usually I do feel sad after the decs go down, but this year I am breathing a sigh of relief and my shoulders are relaxing. We did it. We really did it. It went well and my little boys will remember it as being the Christmas of Scalextric and Skylanders, and little else. It was very subdued, very reflective, utterly exhausting and the stress was immense. For the first time without a newborn I found myself falling asleep regularly and repeatedly when I sat down, then staying awake until 2 or 3am worrying and over-thinking, but we did it. 

Pretend snow play and Christmas eve snack for Santa

It's sad that I wanted it over, it's sad that we didn't take the usual photo's, we didn't drink enough to get giggly, I didn't cry when I watched Miracle On 34th Street. I didn't send cards even though that has always been something I've taken very seriously - I didn't know what to write. It was Christmas, but it was missing so much.

Christmas morning before everyone gets up
Christmas Morning 7am
Christmas morning once everyone gets up 2014
Christmas morning 8.00am
 It's good that we did have decorations and cool presents, we did all stay up to toast in the new year, we did cook a turkey and a gammon and I made a veggie Beef Wellington of which I was particularly proud. 'Santa' managed to get Minecraft LEGO before it sold out, and although we didn't have real snow at all, we had pretend snow by the gallon and the little boys played with it for hours. We stayed at home, we watched a lot of movies, played board games, ate our bodyweight in chocolate and built LEGO, and we gave all our children the best Christmas we could - and there were lots of smiles. 

Happy with Skylanders Trap Team present

The New Year doesn't signify a new start for us, if only it really were that simple. We can't make promises to amend our behaviour or give up alcohol or chocolate and it'll all be good. We don't get a reset. This year there were too many gaps, and the gap will always and forever be there, but Christmas 2015 and New Year 2016 will be easier, and it will be okay.

Welcoming in the new year gif 2015
Midnight 31st December 2014


19 comments:

  1. Glad you managed to find some good bits in this Christmas Jenny, much love tyo you all xx

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    1. Thanks Sarah - back at you and your gorgeous new little baby! :) xx

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  2. I think you've done incredibly well to have make Christmas so wonderful for the boys. I hope the break did you all a great deal of good and that the coming year is somewhat easier x

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    1. Thanks Karen, it did do a lot of good - makes it harder coming back when you've all the backlog though! :) xx

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  3. Next Christmas and New Year will definitely be easier but I think under the circumstances you did incredibly this year. Sending love as always x

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    1. Thanks Donna, you've been a star to me, you really have xx

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  4. I've said it before but I will continue to say it. You are immense, all of you x

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    1. I honestly think we're just going through the motions in the same way most people do, bu thank you Colette, have a lovely year xx

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  5. It looks like you had an amazing time for the boys.

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    1. The boys had an excellent Christmas, and the teenagers enjoyed it too I believe, it's a win xx

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  6. Looks like you managed to have a great time. It must be so difficult and you are amazing, you all are. Big hugs x

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    1. Thank you Susan, and thank you for your support the past few months. Have a lovely year xx

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  7. The boys smiles are just lovely, I'm so glad that there were happy times for you, along with the sadness. Sending a daily hug xx

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    1. Aren't they just adorable! I know I'm genetically programmed to enjoy my children's smiles, but there are some beauties :) xxx

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  8. I am so pleased you manage to enjoy Christmas to an extent and you are right, it will get easier each year. I hope 2015 brings lots of happiness for you all xx

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    1. Thank you Tami. It does get easier, tere are humps and down days, and times when you just can't do it, but they are decreasing. I hope you have a happy 2015 too xxx

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  9. So glad there were a lot of smiles in your house this Christmas as well as the sad memories. No Christmas will ever be the same, but each one will get easier. xx

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    1. Thanks Fiona. It really was better than we worried it would be. I hope you had a lovely Christmas yourselves xx

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  10. I'm glad you all got through Christmas better than you thought you would, and the boys look like they did a great job of wrecking your lounge between 7 - 8am which is how it should be for them.

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