It's 12th night, and for the first time ever, I have to admit to being kind of glad it's all over. Usually I do feel sad after the decs go down, but this year I am breathing a sigh of relief and my shoulders are relaxing. We did it. We really did it. It went well and my little boys will remember it as being the Christmas of Scalextric and Skylanders, and little else. It was very subdued, very reflective, utterly exhausting and the stress was immense. For the first time without a newborn I found myself falling asleep regularly and repeatedly when I sat down, then staying awake until 2 or 3am worrying and over-thinking, but we did it.
It's sad that I wanted it over, it's sad that we didn't take the usual photo's, we didn't drink enough to get giggly, I didn't cry when I watched Miracle On 34th Street. I didn't send cards even though that has always been something I've taken very seriously - I didn't know what to write. It was Christmas, but it was missing so much.
Christmas Morning 7am |
Christmas morning 8.00am |
The New Year doesn't signify a new start for us, if only it really were that simple. We can't make promises to amend our behaviour or give up alcohol or chocolate and it'll all be good. We don't get a reset. This year there were too many gaps, and the gap will always and forever be there, but Christmas 2015 and New Year 2016 will be easier, and it will be okay.
Midnight 31st December 2014 |
Glad you managed to find some good bits in this Christmas Jenny, much love tyo you all xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Sarah - back at you and your gorgeous new little baby! :) xx
DeleteI think you've done incredibly well to have make Christmas so wonderful for the boys. I hope the break did you all a great deal of good and that the coming year is somewhat easier x
ReplyDeleteThanks Karen, it did do a lot of good - makes it harder coming back when you've all the backlog though! :) xx
DeleteNext Christmas and New Year will definitely be easier but I think under the circumstances you did incredibly this year. Sending love as always x
ReplyDeleteThanks Donna, you've been a star to me, you really have xx
DeleteI've said it before but I will continue to say it. You are immense, all of you x
ReplyDeleteI honestly think we're just going through the motions in the same way most people do, bu thank you Colette, have a lovely year xx
DeleteIt looks like you had an amazing time for the boys.
ReplyDeleteThe boys had an excellent Christmas, and the teenagers enjoyed it too I believe, it's a win xx
DeleteLooks like you managed to have a great time. It must be so difficult and you are amazing, you all are. Big hugs x
ReplyDeleteThank you Susan, and thank you for your support the past few months. Have a lovely year xx
DeleteThe boys smiles are just lovely, I'm so glad that there were happy times for you, along with the sadness. Sending a daily hug xx
ReplyDeleteAren't they just adorable! I know I'm genetically programmed to enjoy my children's smiles, but there are some beauties :) xxx
DeleteI am so pleased you manage to enjoy Christmas to an extent and you are right, it will get easier each year. I hope 2015 brings lots of happiness for you all xx
ReplyDeleteThank you Tami. It does get easier, tere are humps and down days, and times when you just can't do it, but they are decreasing. I hope you have a happy 2015 too xxx
DeleteSo glad there were a lot of smiles in your house this Christmas as well as the sad memories. No Christmas will ever be the same, but each one will get easier. xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Fiona. It really was better than we worried it would be. I hope you had a lovely Christmas yourselves xx
DeleteI'm glad you all got through Christmas better than you thought you would, and the boys look like they did a great job of wrecking your lounge between 7 - 8am which is how it should be for them.
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