Wednesday 18 December 2013

Waiting to go to theatre. ..

I'm sitting in one of those fancy nighties that ties at the back. I've got socks on and a big cosy dressing gown and this chair really is very comfortable. 
I didn't sleep well last night,  partly because I was up late writing,  partly nerves and partly because I can't anyway - I wake up uncomfortable and can't get back to sleep. 
My surgeon is due any minute to discuss consent forms and draw a big X on my leg - so they don't cut open the wrong one.
It did flash through my mind in the early hours of the morning that this is mean, if something goes wrong then I could ruin everyone's Christmas!  I have no reason to suspect it will though,  and right now I can't drive,  can't walk round the shops,  can't sit on the floor and play with my children,  so it's worth the risk.
Any minute now I'll sign my forms and get wheeled away and put to sleep and when I wake barely moments later I'll be so dehydrated I won't be able to speak and I'll have alien things on my legs and everything will be the same but different. ..
And then I can have some food and a drink and ring my partner and go home to my family.  Where it will be the same but different. 
I can barely remember walking up the stairs like a grown up or being able to kneel or crouch.  I guess this is all I need for Christmas. The timing is perfect. Too perfect.


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