Wednesday 20 September 2017

Our Shrinking Household.

Our young people have all reached the age where they've left school and are moving on. It's exactly what you hope for as they grow up, but then the day arrives and they say they're moving out, and somehow you can't be more shocked by it.

One of ours started uni last September, one moved out over Summer and a couple of days ago our eldest went. He's moved out before for uni, almost exactly 4 years ago, but was back after 9 months. Now a much more mature working young man who has gained an apprenticeship from Bolton College, I doubt we will see him moving back again.

Surprisingly he's not a Chef..
We've gone from a household of 9 to a household of 5 and it's a heck of a difference.

There is less washing and cooking and the dishwasher isn't on twice a day. The house is so quiet at times, some evenings we have no young people around at all. I came downstairs this morning and stared at my kitchen table because it's the first time in 8 years that it looked as tidy when I got up as it did when I went to bed. I don't even know if I like it.

I will have more time, and maybe more time to write posts like this for payment, and more cash to spend on my new found time off. But the idea is really alien and feels like something that happens to someone else. We've averaged less than one date night a year for the last 9 years...

Date Night at LEGOLAND Adult Night
Our 7 and 8 year old boys have asked for their own rooms before and now that can happen. How successful it's going to be is questionable, as it's only recently they've stopped waking each other when they need the loo at night. Sleeping a whole night in a room alone is an experiment that may need a bit of understanding and fine tuning to be successful, at least temporarily.

We moved here 10 years ago and there have been a few bedroom swaps in that time as our family grew, and grew up, but nothing as adventurous as we're going for now. The biggest child has moved out, one of his brothers is moving into his room and the other is swapping with my partner and I - we get the biggest room!

Best bookcase ever
Even moving bedroom is a huge change for both of our young boys. They moved into their room when they were 2 1/2 and 15 months, so they don't remember any different.

Although excited, they are obviously nervous. I remember when I was not much older and moving into our loft conversion. I stood on tiptoes peeping out of the Velux roof window in my huge new bedroom and I felt like the world was my oyster, but I also felt I was moving on from my 'little kid' bedroom. Six years later I bought my first home and before I left I stood and stared out of that window and remembered the first time I slept up there.

Last night at his bedtime my 8 year old recalled being a much smaller child playing in his current room. He was standing and looking out of his window. In the reflection I could see he is less than a foot shorter than me now. He talked about remembering lying on the floor playing cars, and all the teddy bears that had lived on the end of his bed. He seemed so grown up and mature and I knew exactly where his head was. One day he will understand where my thoughts went too...

I loved that pushchair....
It's exciting watching your children grow up, but as each stage progresses and you delight at new achievements, you lament those that have passed. Your ultimate aim is to raise an adult capable of living happily independently, and it's such a proud moment when they are ready to move out into the world, but it can't fail to leave a small empty space each time...

I look forward to meeting my Grandchildren (although maybe not just yet)..


  1. What a moving post! It must feel very strange with them all moving on, particularly in such quick succession. My eldest is 16 and has just started Year 12, so this might be only a couple of years away for us. Although I would like a bit of peace sometimes, it feels like an almost unbearable idea right now.

    1. It is very weird and hard to get used to. You spend so long looking after them, it's hard to turn it off! I must drive them mad asking them what they've been cooking :)

  2. I think is such a bittersweet moment. Lovely yet amazing. I love reading about your family and wish your oldest all the very best xx

    1. Thanks Susan! He's enjoying himself so far - but he still hasn't taken the rest of his stuff hahaha. Maybe he finds it harder to actually let go than first impressions.


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